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Fauci the compulsive liar.
Death by wind chill. I left at 7 O'clock to avoid the 8 O'clock warning. It was such a beautiful day, I decided to ignore the warning. I bought an expensive heater just in case. Started walking home with heater, cigar & coffee in hand. With an untied shoelace just to complicate things even more. When my hands started to inform me that just before 8 O'clock the forecast was no lie. So, I paused to put down the heater, coffee, & cigar to put on my gloves & tie my shoelace. I got my shoelace tied, reached in my pockets to find I had no gloves. Decided the situation was so urgent that maybe I should make the last 2 blocks in a run. Started to run when I realized it had been so long since I'd had a reason to break out into a run I had forgotten how. Did the best I could anyway. The motion that I could only describe as barely resembling a run was at least a bit faster than the walk. Got to the door, fumbled for the keys with the thought, if I've lost my keys I'm dead. I remember locking the door so they must be here somewhere. Put my burden down found the keys with my now barely functioning hands. Unlocked the door ran to the porcelain throne with the urgency now induced with the foolishness of walking home with coffee in hand & no gloves. Just before retrieving my previously stated burden looked up at the clock to see that it red 8:04. I'm like damn. That's the 1st time that the weatherman has been right on the money that memory can recall.
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